Linda Anger left a very timely quote on Terry Bean’s Facebook wall today. I’ve never had the opportunity to meet Linda, but I know I would like her. My biggest wish is that she conquers her cancer. My second wish is that money never be an issue for her again, especially when it comes to her health.
“Hate is a poison we swallow and hope the other guy dies.”
Here it is Day 18 – 6 days since my last written wish. I’ve had many wishes since then but none I’ve wanted to share. Most of my wishes these days are trivial and personal in the grand scheme of the world. The kind of wishes that accompany throwing my hands up and saying, “Why?”
I’m spending a great deal of time getting to know the spectrum of negative emotions particularly anger and hate. They are feelings I thought I had long since excised from my life and I do not enjoy welcoming them back. I’m coming to the realization, that like everything else in this world, they have a purpose. The challenge is keeping them in balance. Too little anger and I lack the indignation when others take advantage of my kindness, whereas too much can hinder the beauty of my relationships.
Yesterday, I met with Deb S. We talked about emotions; how they’re created, our reactions, and how to change our thought patterns so they serve us better. I know this stuff. I understand it, but truthfully I wouldn’t be going through what I am in this moment if I had made the right decisions. If I had been clear on the thought patterns that were not unfurling in my best interest.