Although this series of posts is supposed to be based on what I am wishing FOR, I’ve had many wishes answered over the last several days…
- Day 4: I spent a wonderful afternoon in Columbus with a client team. They are such a joy to work with and I’m very excited to embark on their new endeavors for 2010. I had been wishing they’d move forward with some ideas – and now we are!
- Day 5: I am blessed with many wonderful friends. Friends I’ve had for decades, who knew me before marriage and children. These are the types of friends you rely on when times are tough. Although, I’ve got lots of phone support, there’s nothing like a hug, a pat on the back and hearing in your ear, “it’ll be all right.”
I got exactly that over the weekend. My good friends, the Carr’s surprised me with a phone call at dinner Friday to say they were driving from Toronto to see me. They walked through my door before midnight with children and dog in tow.They give the best hugs ever.
- Day 6: I used to get so excited about Christmas. There was always a flurry of December baking, decorating, tree trimming, and Christmas music playing throughout the house. I lost the spirit a few years ago and didn’t think I’d ever find it again.
In light of the personal challenges I’m facing, I had prepared myself to “make it through” this month and instead look forward to being filled with the love of the season next year. I wished for my children’s sake, I might find it sooner.
While I was in Columbus, I visited a favorite store and felt the stirring of magic. Last night I put on Christmas carols and my youngest and I began to set up the tree. I realized despite all the stupidity, unfairness and bullying being directed my way, I’m filled with excitement. The Christmas spirit has been resurrected and my wish has been fulfilled in this most unlikely time! It is the greatest gift I could have received. - Day 7: The final answered wish is also an unlikely one. A surprise at first glance but on further contemplation my reaction should have been expected.
When my boys were babies, I was alone Monday to Friday, often times up to two weeks. I had no nearby family, no help and two babies eighteen months apart. At the time I was living in Wasaga Beach which was still a small town with a few thousand year round residents. It meant hospitals, most activities and anything beyond necessity shopping was approximately 45 minutes away.
Think about this. I couldn’t shower, use the facilities or do anything by myself for up to two weeks. Not a moment of peace, no breaks. Two children under the age of three. I wandered around sleep deprived and exhausted for years. And no, I didn’t get breaks on the weekends – actually they were more work!
Knowing I had to keep it together for the sake of my children, I dug deep and found patience I didn’t know I had. I learned to put my needs aside so I could meet the needs of my children. I did it, and I did it exceptionally well. I found strength forged from what I had missed as a child. I was determined that my children would have a reliable, stable, consistent and loving parent while living in an environment that was safe and free of fear.
It’s been a while since I’ve called on that determination to get through my days. I had forgotten it existed within me because I’ve been feeling so weak lately. I’d been overwhelmed and scared about my future; but I’ve found that strength again. The determination to do what needs to be done. I went into the fire as iron and carbon but I’ve come out as steel… and steel is not easy to bend or break.
For the first time in a while, I am really looking forward to my future. I don’t need to wish it, I KNOW it will be exactly what I make it. - Day 8:I’ve never been good at asking for things but tomorrow is a big deal; I could use your combined good wishes surrounding me. Please send positivity in my direction.
