The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.
Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh
Does setting aside a day to recognize mothers suggest we don’t have to appreciate them the other 364 days of the year? Expressing gratitude for those who have helped us grow should be a regular occurrence.
Make Any Day Mother’s Day
My grandfather regularly brought the investment of my grandmother’s time and love to the family’s attention. He didn’t wait for a national day of recognition; he let us know she had sacrificed by announcing his thanks and requesting our participation. He was thankful every day. This is the way it should be, not just for mothers but for everyone who plays a valuable role in our lives. Take a minute to appreciate those people and let them know.
The Best Gifts Aren’t Bought
Personally, I believe gifts are the easy way out. It requires thinking one or two days ahead of the event. Children and husbands run out to buy flowers or something else “thoughtful” to commemorate the day. Gifts are nice once in a while but don’t equate them with love. The gift of time or the gift of a thoughtful deed and some insightful, well-considered words should mean much more. (It’s a good thing I hold this belief because I’d have been sorely disappointed most years!)
Recognize the Martyr in the Mother
An important trait to teach our offspring is consideration and compassion. The martyr complex so many mothers have developed, is not in the best interest of our children because it teaches them to take us for granted. Our children need to learn to recognize when someone else has done something to benefit them. They need to realize the rest of the world does not owe them simply because they exist. That begins at home with a simple lesson of manners. “Thank you,” is more than just a social custom, it’s a start to developing gratitude.
If you feel unappreciated by your children ask yourself these questions:
Have I served them well by not bringing my sacrifices to their attention?
Have I allowed them to take me for granted by not requesting the respect I deserve?
Have I parented in ways deserving of their respect?
Intent Matters
We learn to be good parents. Some of us start with a stronger base than others. As Rajneesh’s quote states, a mother is created when a child is born. Mother and child are learning simultaneously. Consider this: it doesn’t matter how many mistakes a mother makes, what matters is intent.
As a child, take the time to thank your mother for her good intentions. As a mother, take the time to explain how being a mom has impacted your life and tell your children what you’ve learned from them.
You’ll find compassionate words are a far more rewarding gift exchange and can be given any day of the year.
Happy Mother’s Day!
