Attitude Is All I Got!

I don’t enjoy gambling, not at the casinos and not in life. If I decide to do something, I ensure all the odds are in my favor through careful planning. When I signed up for the Commerce 5k run I thought it was a realistic goal for me.

Up until 2007, I hadn’t run since 6th grade. I began running in 1 minute intervals and within the year was running 3-4 miles a two to three times a week. I LOVED it. The post-run emotional high is unmatched by anything else in my life. I contemplated the Detroit half marathon but was nervous about the long-term commitment. Thyroid disease had wreaked havoc with my energy levels consistently over the previous 15 years. It was a 6 month long dosage error that took the steam out of my ability to run, followed by a stressful divorce and a crazy-busy work schedule while trying to get back on my feet financially.

When the Lakes Area Optimist Club announced they were organizing the Run With Attitude Commerce 5k/1mile family run/walk, I decided it was the perfect opportunity to motivate me into running regularly again. Five kilometers, that’s only 3.10685 miles! I’d done it before and would easily do it again. I had 2 months to train.

I made several judgements in error.

1. I assumed that I would be able to quickly get back up to running speed (which was slow at best! It used to take me an hour to run 4-5 miles on the trails)
2. I somehow neglected to notice I had aged 2 years since my last run
3. I didn’t expect my body to conspire against my brain
4. I wrongly assumed my schedule would quiet in August and September
5. oh, and somehow I’d neglected to notice that of the 50 pounds I’d lost running, all came back for an encore when I quit

So here I am, the week of the run – it’s this SUNDAY! – and I have not trained. Sure I’ve fit in a little intermittent treadmill time here and there but my maximum mileage? ONE MILE.

Inside I am freaking out. I don’t like failure. Not running the entire 5k is unacceptable to me but quitting is far worse. For the past couple of weeks I’ve been giving myself a talking to and it goes something like this…

Pat, this is a good lesson. In your life priorities, training for the 5k had to be put on hold. You need to learn to cut yourself some slack, go out, give it your best, and consider it a baseline for next year. Sometimes you just have to let go and appreciate the fact that you can run a mile at this stage in your life. Even if it’s a 14 minute mile!

So on Sunday, I will be out in Commerce, Running With Attitude!

Oh, and I’m also a sponsor!