God,
Grant me the serenity,
To accept the things I cannot change;
The courage, to change the things that I can;
And the wisdom, to know the difference.
~ Reinhold Niebuhr
For as long as I can remember, this prayer hung on a plate in my mother’s house. I read it daily and took it to heart. A long, long time ago I realized I could not change other people, they had to want to change themselves. As a friend, mother, wife, I could only discuss, suggest, and recommend that changes be made. I’ve never demanded them. Instead, I chose to change what I could…. myself.
I adapted by controlling what I could. Taking on responsibilities that should have been shared but were dropped. Paying bills when there was a shortfall of money by cutting back on my needs or working harder at my business. When the paint was peeling on our two-story house or we needed more storage in the garage, I stripped, painted and built while also caring for two young children.
I was serene. I changed what I could, accepted what I couldn’t and didn’t complain. I’d ask once or twice, and then, just take care of things myself. After all, by taking action, I was taking control.
What I’ve come to realize is that, although, I was wise enough to understand what I couldn’t change, I enabled others to continually pile responsibility upon me. I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. Instead of serene, I should have been incensed because a little anger would have made me realize I needed to change how accepting I was.
So my wish moving forward is this:
God,
Grant me the serenity,
To accept the things I cannot change;
The anger, to help me recognize when things need to be changed
The courage, to change the things that I can;
And the wisdom, to know the difference.
